anniversary

its been exactly a year since i first started my weight-loss endeavors last year. 1st march 2006, the day i decided enough was enough. that i was sick of feeling out of control.

365 days later i'm about 25 kilos (i vary bet being 64.[x]-65.[x]) lighter! 25 kilos. that's 100 sticks of butter!! previously i had tried on numerous occasions to lose weight but only managed to stick to the new diet (never an exercise regime) for anywhere between a few days to a few months before i fell back to old habbits. i guess the keystone to success this time around was realising that in order to lose weight and keep it off, i have to make changes to several aspects of my life. which translated into incorporating exercise and changing my relationship with food. and not just while i'm trying to lose weight but for the rest of my life.

my philosophy has been that of moderation. i probably could've lost more weight in the year if i had worked out a little more (i usually clock 3-4 sessions in the gym per week) or eaten a little healthier, for often a time my sweet tooth gets the better of me. but at the same time the very fact that i've accomplished what i have not having to forgoe the things that give me pleasure, makes me more confident of keeping this up long term.

while superficially its been great being able to see the bulges dissapear, along with the Xs on the clothing labels, its been even more wonderful going to bed without the terrible knee pains that used to plague me, actually getting to bed at all in itself has been a bonus. my days are filled with so much more vigor and i hardly ever get depressed anymore (endorphins i tell ya!).

and lastly, though the very admission is somewhat sad, i feel revalidated. many of us let their weaknesses define their self-perception. the year before i finally decided to lose weight i was the heaviest i'd ever been. i was depressed about it and yet it seemed there wasn't anything i could do about it either. so i would berate myself for my lack of self-control. looking in the mirror i could only see the fat person staring back. i lost sight of the other things that defined who i was; my kindness, my humor, my humility(hah!). self-loathing can be a dark and lonely place. but having come out the other end, i see now that you have to come to terms with what you cannot change and revel in the uniqueness that is your person. and then self-acceptance will follow.

what a year its been. my goals, fitness-wise for the next year include:

• toning up lose skin on my arms and belly
• getting my body fat percentage to the healthy 25% range
• entering a 5 km running event, depending how the knee holds out

so watch this space.