somewhat overdue

okay so it has been a while since my last post. partly due to the fact that i've been in a bit of a writing rut. and also because its that time of the year when friends who've been back from uni for vacation have to return soon and have been trying to meet up with them as often as is humanly possible. despite having some five days off (including the weekend of course) for chinese new year, i feel particularly fagged out. i've been out till the wee hours of the morning most days, and set a new record yesterday-or rather today-reaching home at 4 in the morning! not that i'm complaining, for i thorougly enjoy my new-found liberty, having spent most of adolescent years missing many a late-night get-together due to having a strict sri lankan father.

pictures below. basically went to the same italian cafe for three straight nights in a row. the nepali waiters were hot, but after the first time the effect kinda wore off. but what to do, it was one of the few places open till late-or at all- during this festive period. and after ten pm all cakes are at half-price. which girl can turn down dessert at a mere $2.50??

you know after having lost quite a bit of weight it comes as a surprise even to me that i'm not more excited over my current physique. its amazing how many things you can find wrong with your body if you try hard enough. but you know what, i blame that on the media. what chance do average-sized women have of accepting their bodies, the occasional love handle and all, when we are bombarded with images of 'perfect' bodies. but luckily things seem to changing. recently Dove launched a 'true beauty' campaign. particularly noteworthy was a video which shows how magazines use the latest in photo-editing technology to give models their perfection. in fact most of the time the end product in glossies are so far removed from the original photo you would think they were of two different people. basically its all one big lie. real women have curves(ha!), blemishes and (dare i say it) saggy breasts. and there's nothing wrong with that. the more we struggle to attain what magazines decide is beautiful, the more we perpetuate this lie, the more frustated we feel with ourselves and the less confident. today i stood in front of the mirror and looked at my body. really looked. its amazing how almost a year of consistently working out can change your body. where there once was only fat there is now muscle. maybe more muscle than is conventional, but to hell with conventional. i was never the conventional sort, and i hope i never will be.

but you know its a funny thing, self-confidence. it has little to do with what you actually see in the mirror and more with self-perception. i blamed the extra weight for my low self-esteem, only to find that after the weight was gone, self-confidence doesn't magically appear. especially for us women who face so many subliminal messages, which tell us we don't measure up to the ideal, on a daily basis. and so i have discovered to be beautiful, you have to believe that you are. know that nobody (or rather no body) is perfect and it is precisely those imperfections that make you unique. beauty is not being decked in the latest size 0 fashion, but rather in your smile, its about being comfortable in your own skin and its about how you treat others. exercise because you love and respect your body, not because you hate it. and low and behold, others will love it too!