2a.m. musings

its been quite a week. when not at work, i've been spending time catching up with the relatives. haven't really worked out much the entire week. went to the gym for an hr of cardio on monday(which was also christmas), and a jog around the estate yesterday. haven't done any weight training this week and i'll be lucky to get to the gym anytime before the guests leave on the 2nd. i hope i'll be able to get in a few more jogs at the very least.

this month i've been adding sprints to my runs after i was told by a friend that it'd help bring down the belly( you have to tighten the ab muscles during the sprints).i have to say that there's a noticeable difference. it is still protudes out slightly and might on a bad day be mistaken for cottage cheese, but hey, i can now see my feet! now if i could get the love handles to cooperate as well. it seems that they, together with my arms are refusing to budge. i'm hopeful though that they, like my belly, just need more time. maybe in another year the weight training will have a more visible effect on these parts...

had a recent encouter at the gym that left me floored for a bit. as i was putting on my make-up (i had a christmas get together) and generally feeling the post-workout high, the lady beside me struck up a conversation... it started off with her asking me if i had the flu, for i had just blown my nose (very bad when your trying to apply mascara). i said yes and that it was probably due to the weather. then she said very casually.... "you're very fat hor, must slim down". it was one of those moments where your at a loss for words. i just said that i was working on it. a year ago such an insensitive comment would have left me absolutely crushed and probably have me comfort eating. this time around it didn't really have much of an effect on me. mainly because i know that compared to the average size 6 (okay i don't know this for a fact, but it sure feels like it) singaporean there is much more of me to go around. but i'm also at a place where i feel comfortable with what i see in the mirror, even with it not being perfect.sure i still have frumpy days, but i no longer hate on my body. i've come to the realisation that no matter how much weight you may lose, there will be parts of you that do not measure up to society's idea of what is beautiful or perfect. and moreover sometimes it is just impossible to achieve these ideals because of our genetic limitations. i come from short, stocky gene pool, so i'll never be lithe and leggy no matter how many hours i slave on the treadmill. i guess its about making the most of what you've got and giving up the dream of a body that is not yours. i was reading recently how jessica alba hates her curves and wished she were longer and leaner. i mean puh-lease! see, its ridiculous.

i had given up on achieving cameron diaz's body long ago. my problem is being too impatient with my body. i lose sight of the fact that i had been abusing-by which i mean eating poorly and being a general slob- my body for a few years and its impossible to reverse the effects so quickly. i've gotta keep reminding myself to be patient. hopefully if i repeat that often enough it will replace my almost instrinsic need for immediate gratification; a by-product of living in this day and age.

on a final note, 2006 is nearly over. its been a life-altering year in more ways than one. its been tough without my dad but the experience has made me value the people i love and life so much more. losing weight has has obviously been a major focus this year too. mostly its made me more confident because i know i'm stronger than i ever gave myself credit for. hopefully 2007 will be another good year, with less heartache. happy new year everyone and may you be blessed with much peace, health and happiness!

indoor fun

well the rain hasn't ceased for close to two days now and as a result have been feeling extremely lethergic. had work frm 9 to 3, afterwhich i came home and slept till 7. god the life. we've been confined indoors, so we've had to make do with the telly, ps2 and the camera. here are some of the products of our boredom....

on a side note i think its time to re-straighten the fringe. counting down (as always) to pay day...

family reunion

the festive season has turned into a family reunion of sorts. my aunt (mum's sis), uncle and cousin are gonna be in town till after new years'. another uncle (mum's bro) just got in today frm new zeland and will be with us for two days before leaving for sri lanka. its feels great to have the house full of laughter. not so great when the toilets are always occupied or when u have to sleep on the couch. but i'd put up with the inconvenience anytime. i realise my family, even extended, means the world to me. i've forsaken numerous christmas get-togethers so i can spend time with them. i guess its the sri lankan in me :)

argh. i've got work tomorrow. but at least its gonna be a long weekend...before a new year begins. gosh how time flies. oh! i went to the gym today. jogged some 4 km in 25 min. feel really good. and am back to being 65.5. i just remembered how much i used to dread these yearly visits by the extended family. mostly because of their sometimes insensitive comments about my weight. tho i knew they had my best interests at heart, their comments still hurt. how things have changed. they're amazed at how much weight i've lost. but its annoying when some of them want to police what i eat, worried that i've got no self-discipline of my own. i mean hello??! but i try to remember that they love me and are just concerned...

mum and her sis

my mum, her sis and her bro-in-law

i heart my cousin :)

my uncle frm new zeland, in the midst of a story

merry christmas!

the wedding. a sinful dessert filled with coconut milk and treacle. my huggable cousin.

am recovering frm the movie marathon we had last night. alas my spectacles never will. a tip to all, never wear a pair of frameless glasses while watching the omen. my friends know that i never watch horror movies but my cousin really wanted to, so what can i do?? and how do u turn down such cuteness...so i obliged. but at least he was there to grab on to during the scary parts.

on the fitness front i really need to get a handle on my eating. its hard with all the functions during this time of the yr as well as my mum cooking generally unhealthy food due to all the relatives being in town. well hopefully i'll be able to keep exercising to compensate for the extra calories. its off to the gym now for a christmas morning workout. then shopping with family...

playing dress-up

okay if i want to eat for the rest of the month, which thankfully isn't too many days, i'm gonna hav to leave my atm card at home. met up with grace n cheryl today for lunch afterwhich we browsed thru the many stores in far east. bought this cool dress n funky belt. my brother says its cool but just for the wrong era. hahaha. he's funny but what does he know of fashion. i may wear the dress to a wedding tomorrow. as i've said, being able to buy clothes frm regular stores is quite the double-edged sword.

the beige patch on my right arm is not early signs of vitiligo but rather a souvineer frm the health check i went for this morning. its a test that all childcare teachers have to go for. i've gotta say that reading mai's experience on her blog kinda prepared me for what was in store. the worst part was the drawing of the blood (a whole test tube i tell ya!), and a close second the waiting. am having supper with some friends later tonight so i'm off to make my room presentable for the guests arriving tomorrow...

its all in the face

friday at last. this week has pretty much been a blur what with the long hrs (9-10 hrs per day!) as well as the gyming soon after. i'm ready to be one with the bed, but alas the festive season looms and with it comes relatives frm sri lanka. which only means that as always i'll probably have to act in a tourguide capacity. sigh. and i've only got leave on the 25th. 26th n 27th its back to work, tho the kids are on holiday, for some staff training. the torture i tell ya.

i've done two sessions of weight training this week. on the whole not as difficult as i thought it would be. i just need to move faster between machines tho cos a circuit that usually takes me an hr with din, is taking me an hr n a half. am gonna try to get in a second cardio session on sun, which wld mean i'd have worked out 4 times this week, the first in a long long time.

in non too surprising news i've put on a kilo, meaning i weigh 66kg. prolly because i've been eating quite badly this past week. not too worried about it, i just need to get back to the routine. i think now that i'm done with my personal training sessions i prolly will start keeping a food journal again just so i can keep myself accountable.

on an unrelated note, i've always dreaded how i looked in photos cos i've got chubby cheeks (which have been abused countless times by over-eager aunties) and always looked bloated/puffy. i still have the cheeks, but i no longer look (or feel) bloated. in my opinion at least....

girls' night out

cheryl has on our loot frm jb a coupla weeks back. not bad eh?

grace rockin her longer 'do n lookin rather pleased with herself...

met up with my friend grace who is (finally) back on our sunny shores. good to have u back babe! the ever-stylish cheryl was there too, in spite of her crazy workload, and we were quite the threesome. we caught up over sushi, afterwhich we shopped of course! am looking forward to more meetups with the girls n hopefully a marathon shopping trip to either jb or kl! girlfriends n a little retail therapy...what would life be without 'em??

feeling the boogie woogie rhythm

a top weekend of many firsts. first hard rock gig. i think my eardrums have just about recoverred. i had no clue sham was a rock god of-sorts amongst the local following. mad skills i tell ya. also first night clubbing, till three in the morning no less! i'm really glad i wore comfortable flats. az! you've got some crazy moves babe. i'm so glad we did it finally...and u know what my mum says i can do it again before my bro goes to ns in jan! oh and it was the first time partying with the bro n his pals....who i've gotta say know how to par-tay. some old indian guy was groping me from behind (another first) and my bro n his friend were quick to step in. so sweet right?? there was also another freaky guy who kept staring at az n i for the longest time n then asked me to dance (yet another first). i couldn't help but looked flabbergasted n mutter 'no'. god. but u know like az says at least he got the point. i have a feeling tho even if he's been built like a greek god my reaction wld have been the same cos a) i dance like i'm having a seizure and b)being picked up by a guy is pretty scary stuff. at least to me. i'm with u sharm...it wld be so much easier if dating women wld've been a viable option.

was supposed to go to the gym. but the rain is so sleep-inducing i tell ya. tomorrow i will hopefully have managed my first solo attempt at weight training. for now i'm gonna cuddle further into my comfy blanket n get lost in the mindlessness that is korean drama...

recharging the 'ol batteries

saturday finally! as i do a little happy dance and relish the fact that there will be no poo that has to be cleaned ,for the next two days at least, my glutes (that's bum muscles for all non-gym lingo speakers) cry out in agony. so my love-hate realtionship with lunges continues...

some really important news, at least to my weightloss, first. i have just one session with din left. and then i'm on my own. yikes! ok, on one hand i know that it was i who put in the hard work over the last few months and thus being on my own should have no bearing on me continuing to lose weight. but the thing is that having din made weight-training something that i just took for granted, without really paying much attention to what it was exactly he was having me do. crap. but he's explained the concept behind it to me and drawn out a simple plan, when it comes to resistance/weight training, i'm to follow frm now on. at the moment i still can't tell my lats from my triceps, but i guess i will be forced learn quick to in the next few months. in a way i guess its a good thing cos at some point i have to start using the machines myself. and i guess its like getting used to the cardio machines, after a while u feel less self-conscious or downright cacat fiddling with the various knobs n handles.

when i was first starting out i'd never have thought i would be even remotely concerned about weight training in order to keep losing weight.because like many others i figured cardio-running, cycling, stairmaster-was all i had to do to attain this goal. i was youtubing one of the biggest loser trainers on some talkshow and she was saying that for optimum weight loss she recommends 4 weight-training sessions a week, with cardio thrown in just for 'gravy'. no time for the extra cardio, not a problem. most important apparently is to do your weight training in a cardiovascular fashion, which translated means to move quickly from machine to machine ensuring that your heartrate remains elevated at a level that ensures the burning of calories. damn and to think that i was one of those women who feared doing weights cos i thought i'd become even bulkier.

on a another note isn't it funny how on days you can sleep in, you end up awaking at 9. well at least i feel rested. which is never the case, even if i've slept for longer, when i know i've got work. yesterday i finished work at 7.45 and yet somehow found the strength to go to the gym. my counsin's in town and i was afraid of leaving it to the weekend cos i figure it's more likely to not happen. by the time i was done it was 10.30 and then i met up with the cuz for some dinner. by the time we were ready to leave town it was 12ish but were only able to get a cab at one. remind me never to even think about working out that late on a friday night.

today looks like its gonna be spent in town again doing some shopping with the family. seeing the girls in the evening to catch sham in action. exciting stuff i tell ya.

having me some retail therapy

am still recovering from a killer weekend. hit the gym saturday morning...jogged 5km...then met up with azz. checked out the lime sonic bang flea market. nothing much to get excited over, tho i did buy a brand new MAC blush n estee lauder lipstick for just 2 bucks each. met up with mai later in the evening for the actual concert. nothing like being in the company of teenagers to make one feel old. glad i went tho, even tho my knee was killing me at the latter part of the evening, cos i heard local acts imran and ronin for the first time. but the piece de resistance was hady's performance. man can he blow. and i don't know what it is abt him but he does it for me. all he had to do was look in my direction, and my heart was set aflutter and my knees went weak. i'm a total groupie i know!

on sunday i went to jb with a coupla friends. no matter how many times i go, i can never get over how cheap things are there. i bought a pair of flats, a pair of sandals,a pair of shorts, 7 tops and not to mention 10 slices of cake frm secret recipe and i'm only 150 dollars poorer for it.

since discovering that i can now find stuff that fit me in regular stores, its been hard resisting the temptation to shop. its a novel idea to not buy something that fits. its definitely something that i don't quite have the hang of as yet but am getting better at. oh! i bought a little black dress after a session at the gym a few days back. it is amzingly comfortable and joy of joy comes with sleeves, so i don't have to bother with a wrap. hopefully there'll be some x'mas do to wear it to so i can post pics of it.

am seeing din at 9pm tomorrow. which means i'll be done at only 10.30ish. he says he'll drop me home tho so i can avoid the hr long commute. still a rather long day. but i shan't complain cos i know some ppl out there are running on crazier hrs. am glad its just a coupla days frm the weekend. god sleeping in, what a luxury....

not such a fatty

just back from another late-night session with din. well late by our usual standards at least. cos i've been made to work later to allow for other teachers to clear their leave, been seeing din frm 8-9 this week. he's been working me really hard cos he wants to get me in the 65s. have been felling pretty much like a limp noodle afterwards, but its been worth it...cos today i weighed in at 65.5 kg! and that's after a heavy tea ( large of bowl of barley soup + 1/2 doughnut), an early dinner (1 wholemeal tuna sandwhich) AND i cup of coffee. and this time its not the diarrhoea either.

did an in-body test a coupla sessions back. body fat percentage down to 33.5%. In july it was 40%. it may be just a 7% drop, which was admittedly a little disappointing at first, but that's taking into account that the body weight from which this percentage is derived has also dropped. so to put the figures in perspective, my body fat in july was 40% of 79kg which amounts to some 32kg. now its 35.5% of 67kg (the in-body scale reads slightly higher than the regular scale) which is approximately 22kg. which ultimately means that 10 of the 12kg lost during this period of time is due to a loss in fat. can u say KAWABANGA??!

what about the other 2kg then? well its prolly due to a loss in water or muscle mass. din says its impossible to avoid the latter when attempting to lose weight, no matter how many protein supplements one consumes. and since i haven't been taking any such supplements ( maybe its time i re-introduce the 2 egg whites into my daily diet??) i can't say i'm surprised.

yup its been a pretty terrific day thanks to this little discovery. i bet i scared more than a few commuters on the train on the way home, grinning manicly the way i was. if i've bored you to tears at this point, i apologize, but you've gotta get your thrills where you can find 'em...

the runnings

what a busy few days its been. firstly, it turns out it was indeed the stomach flu that was giving me so much distress on friday. the abdominal pains and nausea have ceased, only the diarrhoea persists, tho it too is significantly better. but you know one thing diarrhoea is good for?? weight loss. after sleeping for close to 12 hrs on saturday, i went to the gym with a friend on sunday. my weight had dropped to 65.5 , which is nearly a kilo in two days. i can see why laxatives may seem an attractive way of losing weight to some. but come on la. there's no way i could've burnt off one kilo of fat...unless of course trotting around on wedges have as-yet-undiscovered cardiovascular benefits. the loss of water is more likely to be the cause of the sudden drop in weight.

went to attend to some legal matters after work today with my mum. afterwhich went window shopping for a bit. the trip to giodarno made my day cos turns out a size 32 is too big for me. i mean WAY too big. but you know having never been able to even remotely fit into any of their bottoms before i've never noticed their pricing, and damn are they expensive. the knee length shorts (?) that i tried on were nearly 50 bucks! and all this while, here i was thinking that giodarno was like a less ah-lian version of this fashion.

tomorrow looks to be another long day. have got work frm 10 to 6, then din at 8. working out in the evenings is a real bitch cos the gym is really packed and there's eternally a queue for the showers. but oh well that's the way the cookie crumbles. its only monday and already i'm exhausted. must be age catching up with me. hope its gonna be one of them weeks that just zooms by....

concert day- part one

the teachers were at the venue at 9 (tho the concert started only at 2) . we had to decorate the auditorium and set up various displays. i was involved in making the volcano seen here, which felt like being in primary school again.

two of the boys in school, after i got my hands of them with my blusher and lipstick. talk about pretty boys...luckily their too young to realise makeup is kinda pansy

one of the most adorable kids in school. at this point i've been in a pair of 4 inch wedges for a good four hrs and can barely feel my legs...

at long last, the concert is over and some the teachers went out to a thai joint for some dinner...before going comatose for the rest of the weekend. i'm not trying to be shy here, hiding in the back, just too tired to care one way or another. these teachers are a crazy bunch, who always game for a laugh. good fun i tell ya

concert day- part two

after dinner with the teachers met up with azira to catch some local bands perform at the science centre, electrico(pictured) being one of them. was cool to bob to some music after a long week but the crowd wasn't too into it. did some cam-whoring as usual, but ended up looking like we've had one carlsberg too many...which of course wasn't the case, us being good muslim girls n all.

az since my mum was so cool abt it, zoukout la babe, ok?? set ah...

out about town

the pictures i 'stole' from az's blog...thanks babe :) (and yes, cotton candy always gives me a manic look) met up with preethi (whom i hadn't met in bout 5 yrs!), sharm and az. had fun catching up....preethi talked mostly cos, as sharm so aptly put it, she's the one with a life. it was just like old times.

i had a smoked salmon salad but maybe it didn't agree with me or something cos i've been up since 4.30 in the morning with bad stomach pains as well as diarrhoea. or perhaps i've come down with stomach flu, which has affected many of the kids in school. was hoping to hit the gym after work today but that'll now depend on i'm feeling. gotta head to town anyway to get some stuff for tomorrow's concert. am looking forward to a lazy sunday in bed...