taking some time out

i've made a decision after experiencing the worst pain with regards to my knee yesterday. i've decided to rest until i see din next tuesday. four days without going to the gym.that's probably the longest i've been away since my brief week-long trip to mauritius two weeks after i first started my exercise regime. but i think my body needs time to heal. i want to keep active by not sitting on my butt for too long but it wasn't possible yesterday cos it hurt too much to stand and walk. i've gotta say i haven't been to good these past few days with icing my knee or rubbing the ointment the doctor prescribed. maybe that contributed to the state i find myself in.

i've decided to not push myself too hard to exercise at full capacity whilst my knee is not 100 per cent. i think i've been too paranoid about gaining weight if i were to slow down or stop altogether. but in the long run this would would only work against me cos my knee would never have time to recover. so yeah as i see if i have to rest for three weeks, so be it. i'd rather bite the bullet now than have to spend the rest of my life with a bad knee. hopefully its not already too late to prevent the latter.

i was just looking thru some of my fat clothes which i had previously put into a bag, which has been sitting in my room waiting to be dropped off at the salvation army. i was looking for anything that i could salvage for alteration, since i'll be going to sri lanka where its much cheaper. i have to admit that some of the stuff is so hideous that i must have been momentarily blind to have bought. really. i think when your large its such a surprise to find something that fits that you buy it based on that merit alone. whether it flatters you or is aesthetically pleasing is merely secondary or sometimes (depending how large you are) something you don't consider at all.at my biggest i was a size 18-20 and its pretty much impossible to find anything that fits in local stores, where the average size is probably a 6. so i pretty much bought anything on sale at dorothy perkins, and some of the things never saw the light of day cos i realised (thank god) in front of my mirror at home that they were better suited for my elderly aunts.i've always wondered whether the people who make clothes for bigger people thought that we had no taste. i wish there were more stores selling hip stuff for big people. but at the same time i'm not sure if i ever would have decided to lose weight if i could find things in my size more easily.its a bit contradictory i know.

yesterday i did a bit of baking. well it involved an instant mix if that counts. i had bought a weight watchers' caramel sponge cake a while back but never got round to making it till yesterday. the smell of caramel wafting thru the house was in itself sinful :) the cake itself was on the dry side but the caramel, which soaked the cake from the top as well as the inside was a winner. all in all not to bad for 150 cals a serving (which is half of the cake). i think the thing to be careful of is indulging in these too often just because they're low in calories. din calls them 'empty calories' because they don't do anything for the body, but are mostly in the form of sugar. and they're the ones that turn you into a crazy person who's looking for her next sugar fix...