my progress thus far
firstly as is probably obvious, this blogging business is new to me.so bear with me as i learn the many intricasies of uploading pictures and things like that. i intend for this to be a weight loss blog, with occasional rantings about my life, or rather the lack thereof.
i'm 22 years old and have been fat for as long as i can remember.i've eaten my way to over 90 kilos, in order to deal with stress, success, loss of loved ones (you get the idea) but hardly ever because i was truly hungry. at the age of 19, right before i entered university started my first meal-replcement diet. i was 82kg before the diet and was down to about 74kg in just a few months. but i was miserable and really, really hungry. when i started uni i couldn't adhere to the strict diet and gained a few kilos. meanwhile i also switched between similar diets but basically hovered around the high 70s. then my mum fell ill and my world around me seemed to be crumbling. i had to be strong for my dad, brother and my mom's sis who were all pretty out of it. food was my only comfort.
then my mum got better, but i started giving tuition in my final year of uni and had no proper time to have my meals. as a result i would eat anything that was convenient-chips, fast food, chocolate- anything i could just stuff in my mouth on my way to and from my students' houses.and things got really bad when my dad was diagnosed with cancer early last year and then passed away last september.a daddy's girl, i could not cope with the initial fear and then the grief. once again food was my friend.
two months after my dad's death i had to go to the US for a few weeks in order to complete my degree.i had a great time with all my friends, drank copious amounts of alcohol, ate lotsa beef( i was in oklahoma), and genrally pigged out on american portion sizes.but that was also where theturning point occured. i had a brief wellness module where i realized just how unfit i was. i was disgusted with myself but even more so because all my friends seemed so happy and healthy. then i realized that i was doing this to myself. i was CHOOSING to be fat, to lead a lifestyle that was ultimately self-destructive.
when i returned to singapore i had exams for two months, and although i didn't get off my arse and start moving, i did start improving my diet.in march i joined a gym and hired a personal trianer.i was so shcked to find out i weighed 90.2kg. in the first two weeks i lost 2kg. then my aunty, my dad's sis, passed away of a heart attack. she had been blind due to severe diabetes for about two years.i went to be with her family in mauritius for two weeks. i was my aunty's favourite niece and it was often commented just how similar we were. we both are voracious readers and have a sweet tooth. my aunt was just 54 when she died. all i could think about was how that could be me in a few years.
i came back and have been religously working out as well being careful with my diet. its been three months and i weigh 79.9kg. so i've lost 10.3kg and i'm so proud of myself because it hasn't been easy, especially experiencing my first plateau, but i've stuck to it. it makes me feel so empowered because i know i control my own destiny.
i do have quite a bit more weight to lose. i think my ideal weight is something like 55kg but i'm setting myself a goal of 65kg, so that's another 15kg. i'm going to get there, i will get there, slowly but surely.
the hardest thing has been remebering that this is not about getting into a pair of skinny jeans, or about what the scale says, but rather about improving my health. so when i'm frustrated that the process is not occuring faster i remind myself of where i was, how i felt then and then compare it with how much better i feel now. i refuse to let diabetes, or high blood pressure control my life. i ain't going down like that. i'm gonna fight. cos life is great dammit, and i'm gonna enjoy it to the fullest.
i'm 22 years old and have been fat for as long as i can remember.i've eaten my way to over 90 kilos, in order to deal with stress, success, loss of loved ones (you get the idea) but hardly ever because i was truly hungry. at the age of 19, right before i entered university started my first meal-replcement diet. i was 82kg before the diet and was down to about 74kg in just a few months. but i was miserable and really, really hungry. when i started uni i couldn't adhere to the strict diet and gained a few kilos. meanwhile i also switched between similar diets but basically hovered around the high 70s. then my mum fell ill and my world around me seemed to be crumbling. i had to be strong for my dad, brother and my mom's sis who were all pretty out of it. food was my only comfort.
then my mum got better, but i started giving tuition in my final year of uni and had no proper time to have my meals. as a result i would eat anything that was convenient-chips, fast food, chocolate- anything i could just stuff in my mouth on my way to and from my students' houses.and things got really bad when my dad was diagnosed with cancer early last year and then passed away last september.a daddy's girl, i could not cope with the initial fear and then the grief. once again food was my friend.
two months after my dad's death i had to go to the US for a few weeks in order to complete my degree.i had a great time with all my friends, drank copious amounts of alcohol, ate lotsa beef( i was in oklahoma), and genrally pigged out on american portion sizes.but that was also where theturning point occured. i had a brief wellness module where i realized just how unfit i was. i was disgusted with myself but even more so because all my friends seemed so happy and healthy. then i realized that i was doing this to myself. i was CHOOSING to be fat, to lead a lifestyle that was ultimately self-destructive.
when i returned to singapore i had exams for two months, and although i didn't get off my arse and start moving, i did start improving my diet.in march i joined a gym and hired a personal trianer.i was so shcked to find out i weighed 90.2kg. in the first two weeks i lost 2kg. then my aunty, my dad's sis, passed away of a heart attack. she had been blind due to severe diabetes for about two years.i went to be with her family in mauritius for two weeks. i was my aunty's favourite niece and it was often commented just how similar we were. we both are voracious readers and have a sweet tooth. my aunt was just 54 when she died. all i could think about was how that could be me in a few years.
i came back and have been religously working out as well being careful with my diet. its been three months and i weigh 79.9kg. so i've lost 10.3kg and i'm so proud of myself because it hasn't been easy, especially experiencing my first plateau, but i've stuck to it. it makes me feel so empowered because i know i control my own destiny.
i do have quite a bit more weight to lose. i think my ideal weight is something like 55kg but i'm setting myself a goal of 65kg, so that's another 15kg. i'm going to get there, i will get there, slowly but surely.
the hardest thing has been remebering that this is not about getting into a pair of skinny jeans, or about what the scale says, but rather about improving my health. so when i'm frustrated that the process is not occuring faster i remind myself of where i was, how i felt then and then compare it with how much better i feel now. i refuse to let diabetes, or high blood pressure control my life. i ain't going down like that. i'm gonna fight. cos life is great dammit, and i'm gonna enjoy it to the fullest.
posted by liza @ 6/02/2006 10:56:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home